Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Gilma Equilibirium

Hello Fellow Gilmas,

We did not get much time but still we somehow managed to catch hold of the ever-busy POG(Peak of Gilma) Ramkumar K S in an exclusive interview to Gilma-Lectures inc. As Ramkumar K S was busily leaving to the Annual Bangalore-Gilma-Meet (BGM), we could ask him only one question on his current breakthrough research in gilmalogy. And RKS explains his current research findings in an elegant way that will for sure bring a drop of tear filled with joy to every gilma who reads it.

Here it is!


Can you explain the new GETHU theorem that you have developed (GETHU - Gilma's Equilibrium Theorem for HUman beings )


"Gilma, as a society maintains an equilibrium of its own. When this equilibrium is affected, the forces within that society will act to bring the state back to equilibrium"

This law can be better understood by observing a glass of water. Water level at the surface always remains equal. When this state is disturbed by shaking the glass, some molecules gain kinetic energy which causes them to rise above the surface. But the cohesive force from other molecules (along with gravity), pulls these molecules down to main the level of water at the surface.

Similarly, if a gilma G disturbs the equilibrim of his society by putting kadalai (1) to girl either through internet,phone or in person, the other gilmas in his group exert force by constantly saying things like "dei.kadala elaam podara..kalakara po" (2) and also sometimes by sending friend requests to the new girl. Since it is already proved that sound travels faster through gilmas than through normal people, other gilmas also hear the news and exert force on G. Eventually, this force gains momentum with time and becomes greater than that force using which G had put kadalai(1) in the first place. In the end G gives up and thus, the state of equilibrium in the society is maintained.

(1) Kadalai - A form of disease that non-gilmas acquire whereby non-gilma guys/girls are found constantly chatting useless things with other non-gilma girls/guys

(2) 'Dei Kadala elaam podata..kalakara po' - A statement that supposedly praises (and at the same time irritates) a person for following the process of kadalai , the definition of which is found in (1)

Friday, November 28, 2008

Positively Definite Gilmas

Hello Fellow Gilmas,

Though all of us know that we are Gilmas by birth, we find it sometime difficult to characterize a randomly sampled human being as a gilma or non-gilma. This is of course a binary classification problem that involves a parameter Gil that we need to estimate.

But before going too far into gilmaness and the classification problem, let us try to understand some fundamental facts about gilma.

As we all have observed in ourselves and among fellow gilmas, the following two things hold true always

Observation 1: When two gilmas meet, they invariably talk about 'gilmaism' !
Observation 2: However constant pressure you apply to a gilma, he will never become a non-gilma (and hence will stay as a gilma).

Surprise Surprise!!!

These are fundamental statements that we have made to define something called as 'Gilma Space' !!

Gilma Space

Formally, we have the following

Given a Gilma Space Gil , if g1,g2 are two gilmas belonging to Gil, then
g1 + g2 is also gilma (Direct from Observation 1).

Given a Gilma Space Gil, if g1 is a gilma , then any 'constant' pressure applied to this gilma will again result in a gilma

i.e c * g1 also belongs to Gil.

Thus we can arrive at the following conclusion.

"Any linear combination of Gilmas is again a Gilma" (Gheorem 1)

(This result was established by Gilmananda in the celeberated paper 'On Jipis, Japoosis and Gilmas - A rigorous formulation of gilmaism' )

Zero Gilmas

Whenever a Gilma is born in this world, he has no knowledge of anything or anybody. Yet he is a gilma. Such Gilma's are called Zero Gilmas.

Positive Definite Gilmas

This is the killer!!

This is a hugely successful test to figure out if a random guy/girl is positively and definitely a gilma or not.

Before defining it formally, let us look at the intuition.

Assume a non-gilma (note again, non-gilma) is suddenly left inbetween a group of gilmas. It is bleeding obvious that the non-gilma will be irritated like anything until he/she becomes totally down. Sometimes the non-gilma will develop a lot of negative feelings that he/she might try to jump like a monkey. (Such scenarios are commonly found to occur in non-gilmas with more than one girl/boy friends though no rigorous proof is arrived yet. In other words, it is a open gilma problem! )

Converting the above intuition into mathematics, we have the formulation as gelow..i mean..below.

Let us consider a set of n^2 gilmas. Let us name them as G(i,j) where i , j range from 1 to n. Now if we define a n*n matrix M such that each gilma G(i,j) goes and sits in position (i,j) and starts to irritate a non-gilma Z, then Z develops negative feelings and so

Z(t) * M * Z < 0 (negative)
[ Here Z(t) indicates transpose of Z i.e non-gilma Z tries to sit in a different pose but still fails]

Whereas if we allow a gilma to be Z, then we are sure that gilma Z will NOT be irritated by the conversation. On the contrary his gilma co-efficient will grow tremendously that he will be filled with positive energy.

In Mathematical terms,

Z(t) * M * Z > 0 (positive).

Thus if the value of Z(t) * M * Z is positive, then we have a definite gilma!!

This is the 'Positive Definite Gilma' test.

This had proved tremondously successful in many undergraduate colleges. We request fellow gilmas to try it out and let us know the results.



We have left out the case when Z(t) * M * Z is 0 because the author currently has no sufficiently silly explanation for it !


Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Hello Fellow Gilmas,

We need to take a quick deviation from our mathematical theory here. Nonetheless, the exercise below will prove to the world that gilma's are not only mathemental but also mental in other fields of science and technology.

We present two gilma-contributions from well renowned gilmas. SunSuren as they are called in the gilma community , Sundaresan Venkatasubramanian and Surendran have carved themselves a beautiful place in the gilma hall of fame as "twin-gilmas" . They are not twins in any manner. One is short, the other is fat. One is from metropolitan while the other is from a unknown village. And with innumerable other differences among themselves, there is one single thing that ties them together. That is nothing but gilma. We are happy to present some tit-bits that they would like to share with us here.(though some points are debatable)

Here we go.


From:Sundaresan V

Unit of gilmaness - gilm, milli gilm, kilo gilm

Gilma is also known as "Jilpee" among girls
Correspondingly jilp, milli jilp, kilo jilp

Physical measures of gilma - gilmosity, gilmivity,

Study of gilma is broadly classified as
gilmology, gilmicology, gilmo-entology, jilpology, jilpicology

Father of gilma - Jala-bula-jangs


From: Surendran

Gilma Astrology: (for guys)

>>> One elder sister and one younger brother 100% gilma
(me,arun,ramkumar,srini,subbu etc)

>>> In a family if there are two brothers then one will be nongilma and other will be 200% gilma (guru,raman,subash,singarakannan )

>>> One elder brother and one elder sister 500% gilma (sankar raman)

>>> Two elder sister and a younger brother, he is God of gilma ( saravanan )


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Call for papers

Hello Fellow Gilmas,

Gilmaism has been a mystery to a lot of people. Everybody who hears the word for the first time acquires a wierd looking smile on his face for unknown reasons. Why does this happen? Is there a fibonocci spiral somewhere hidden inside the syllables of gilma that give it a strange sound? Is there a prime number pattern that gilma's follow. Below we present the call for paper invitation of Raman's Gilma Research Labs (RGI) on various cutting-edge research topics followed by the celebrated gilma_analysis paper's overview written by the reverend Raman himself.

We shall discuss further details about Raman S in the lecture series that would be published shortly. Here we don't waste any more time and present you the material coming right from RGRL.


Papers invited under the following Categories for first edition of Gilma-Lectures:

1. Gilma Analysis
Here researchers analyse the core theory behind the Gilmas which have been an undefined topic so far due to the complexity it assumes. Here we search for the ground truth behind them, and analyse what feature that they have are having direct implication on their behavior and life. For eg, Is it their hairstyle, way of speaking, looks, etc which make them a Gilma. This will help designing efficient algorithms which correct the relevant features.

2. Gilma Dynamics
This concerns with the interaction that Gilmas have with the outer world, and the insults they get, and their responses. We need a concrete model to study the dynamics, which will enable us to predict upto certain extent what will happen if a Gilma approaches a girl/guy.

3. Gilma Algorithms
Everyone knows that converting a Gilma into a non Gilma is an NP Complete problem. Here we discuss various approximation, probabilistic, hueristic algorithms which will enable te Gilma to find their nearest guy/girl, however attu he/she might be. This also includes algorithms the other way, to successfully transform a Non-Gilma into a Gilma. Every algorithm published should be tested sufficiently on strictly human samples. And authors are requested to share their test samples so that other people can also do the testing on the same samples.

The difficulty in representing bangalore Gilmas
Raman, Arun, Dinesh

Gilmas[1] have always been a distinct set of their own. Though everyone has a Gilma within, it all depends on the coefficient of Gilma, which measures the extent to which he is part of Gilma. The first step with Gilma programming should involve declaring the gilma variables. The problem here is to find out, whether to declare as Boolean, Short, Int, Float, Long or any other type ? The natural answer of "Declare in any way u like" wont really represent Gilmas. We present a hypothetical reasoning for using Long Long as the data type, which can be the first step in doing large programs with Gilmas.


Without loss of generality, we are restricting the space of search, and using Bangalore as test bed. Bangalore is selected since it has enough examples of Gilma and Non-Gilmas. By observation we see that Gilmas are interacting with each other as a sub group, and Non-Gilmas in a separate group. So, If one Gilma approaches a Single Bangalore Girl, that is more easily corrected by a Non-Gilma guy, which makes it almost impossible for the Gilma to pursue his aspirations. This observation means that the Male Single bangalore(MSB) and Lady Single Bangalore(LSB) are as much separated as possible.


Hence we propose to declare the Gilma as Long Long, which is very wide, meaning that it separates the MSB and LSB as much as possible. This facilitates in accurately representing Gilma, which can be used in further alogorithms. In Future, we also research in a better representation of Gilmas.


[1] Gilmananda.glogspot.com Arun, et, al.
[2] http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=38596396 Arun, et, al.

Special lecture series I - G++ programming

Hello Fellow Gilmas,

We are really happy to announce the latest G++ code lecture by Ramkumar K.S . Ramkumar K.S is one of the very few people in the gilma community to have obtained the honorary title POG - "Peak of Gilma". Ramkumar earned this title by serving sincerely as a gilma for over 6 years now. Ramkumar K S , though an engineer by profession has all the amazing ability to get an avamanam within seconds of being asked to. This unique quality is not found in many currently existing gilmas. Moreover Ramkumar KS is not a ordinary gilma, but a contributor to gilma-literature. An inspiration to ordinary non-gilmas, Ramkumar K S has successfully managed to convert atleast one supposedly non-gilma into gilma by giving excellent on the spot love-proposal ideas. We welcome RKS to this lecture series and present below one of the rare piece of code that runs in every gilma's brain and heart.

Here we go

Code Author : Ramkumar K S
Code Language: G++ (in short for Gilma++)
Code Compiler: Gcc (no... this is the normal Gcc)
Code Use : Understand gilma, non-gilma behaviour in the closest possible way.

class male_group
array nongilma[N];
array gilma[N];

class female
var contact;

return null;
return contact;


class nongilma

array female_contact[N];
string fav_hero="di caprio";
string fav_movie="titanic";"
string fav_song="nahin rakhtha..(some hindi/english crap)";

get_intro(female f){ female_contact.add(f.give_intro(this));}


class gilma
array female_contact[N];

string fav_hero="vijay";
string fav_movie="winner";
string fav_song="aal thota boopathi";

try_to_putkadalai(female f){female_contact.add(f.give_intro(this));}
send_friend_request(female f){female_contact.add(f.give_intro(this));}
put_maanga(array gilma[]);

female f;
male_group m;




Monday, November 24, 2008

Basics of Abnormal Distribution

The Abnormal distribution, also called the Gilma distribution, is an important family of continuous probability distributions, applicable to many figures. Each member of the figure family may be defined by two parameters, location and scale: the mean ("average", μ) and variance (standard deviation squared, σ2) respectively.

The standard abnormal distribution is the abnormal distribution with a mean of zero and a variance of one (the brown curves in the plots below). Gilmananda (http://gilmananda.blogspot.com) became associated with this set of distributions when he analyzed good-looking figure data using them,[1] and defined the equation of its probability density function. It is often called the eight curve because the graph of its probability density resembles the number eight.


When developing new theories in mathematics, we need to be as rigorous and as close to physical phenomenon as possible. When an apple fell over Gewton's head, it not only pained, but also sparked. Ginstein did not get his ideas of relativity after his twenties. He had already performed several thought experiments (like sitting and traveling over a light wave for instance) when he was in school. Gocrates, Glato , Gescartes, Gaplace, Guler, Glauss, Glodel, Guring, Gantor - pick any of the great mathematicians or philosophers or scientists - they have had some remarkable inspirations to develop breathtaking theories. For the common man, these appear to be ordinary equations and weird looking terminologies on paper. But not many realise that they have had amazing path breaking practical influence.

Such is our dream. Such is our aspiration.

We are nowhere near Gewtonion physics. For that matter we have never ever have seen a single apple tree in our whole lives. But, we have our own inspirations. We have our own practical experiences.

All these put together, here in this series of lecture that combine some of the best theories of the new discipline of mathematics that we are about to develop, we will also introduce several upcoming mathematicians to the outside world.

No more of suspense. Here in this post, we reveal only the name of our new theory and in the upcoming posts, we give various formulations by different authors who have led to the pathbreaking theory.

Here it is .
Presenting to you for the first time.....



Some compliments that we have already received for the base theory from various mathematicians.

Glauss on 'Random Figure Theory' authors:

The total number of Gilma's publications is not large: jewels are not weighed on a grocery scale

Gewton on 'Gilma's excellence:

“If I have seen figures than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of gilma's.”

Ginstein on 'Gilma' in a single sentence that breaks popular belief about gilmaism:

"Gilma is not responsible for people not falling in love."

Garrack Gibama on Gilma (Exclusive)

"Change will not come if we wait for some other gilma or some other jalpoosi . We are the gilma's we've been waiting for. We are the jalpoosi that we seek"